Community is more than intention, there is relational work to be done ... weekend from the Heart(h) series.

Amongst the calls to make the seachange or the treechange, comes the reality that simply moving to an intentional community isn't the answer without relational work.

Theres much ado!

So much in fact that we are caught in the cross fires of dramatic changes to our way of being amongst the ‘institutions and systems’ AND the desire to head for the hills to avoid it all.

Let’s be honest this isn’t new. The movement towards alternative living has been happening for decades. The fact that it is so much more ‘a thing’ now isn’t simply because of the political mayhem we are in - where people are seeking ways to survive - but for the last couple of decades specifically, the multi crisis we are in has called many to a lifestyle change that better supports the Earth and our own existence.

There is need for this change that is without question. But is running for the hills the answer? In many instances sure, but it too has become something for only those ‘who can’ not for those ‘without capacity’ as even this change now comes with quite a hefty price tag. And that is heavily questioned when we are visioned with the influencers version of ‘homesteading’ or ‘tradwifing’, in which the appearance is all so glamorous with barely a blade of grass out of place.

Of course the back lash to this romantic version of simple living, off grid living, organic farming, or the good life, has come thick and fast from those who have longevity under their belt with enduring this way for a long time. It is a lifestyle without doubt. Living off the land has always been more than a lifestyle, one that few truly understand. I recall always thinking this as I got older moved to the city after coming from the land. The people are just different. The way we country folk dance with life takes time to attune to. The rhythm we sway with is unlike city folk and there is a willingness to endure beyond most will know.

There is also a depth to their community that can only be met with a tough exterior that can go the distance - literally, miles sometimes - before reaching each other, or help, or connection, and at the same time being safe and secure in that.

All of this to say, there’s three things deeply important in making this move ‘out’ of the cities that are often overlooked.

One - is that community is above and beyond simply landing in one. It comes when you belong in one. And that belonging isn’t only being born there, it is being born again there.

The other - is that community is beyond having land there. It is the relational element that must be worked on the most. Not just to each other to build and connect, but to the land the padfoots who roam it, the elements who pass through. Building these relational bones to being is a skill most of us have lost, and the rest are unwilling to put the damn hard work and time into.

The last is tough - and it’s being willing to live into the place and people and beyond. It is being willing to serve and die into the community over and over.

There’s How do we steward these needs consciously? There is no one way, but for the way we each find. It comes through relational intuition and instinct to ask and offer in service to all things existing where we are. It can only begin through a mindset shift brought to action.

Community is more than saying yes.

More than saying yes lets do it, community calls for deep questioning. The first of my offers to feel into - belonging - is how traditional community began.

I am not sure how many will agree to this, but community begins all things. Traditionally. In the beginning. Developing villages, towns, spaces, places began with a remarkable occurrence. A spectacular event that was filled with awe. Little known at the beginning of time many of these awe filled moments may have been an eclipse, or a falling star, but these very enigmas created wonder. And wonder and awe was everything for people to gather and know that this particular spot, this place, this moment, held meaning. Many would gather there to see it, be a part of it, participate in it. And the gathering was an event unto itself. We would usher people in to share it. I recall it. That may sound ludicrous, and thats ok, but I recall those wonderments. I recall setting down and saying this is it. We may have walked miles for the sign of where to be, and this is it, and all those who shared in it, belonged. And all those who were then born to it belonged. And all those willing to stay to nurture the space waiting for it - belonged. And every time that wonderment came, or another, no matter how small the miracle, we were /are all born again.

Born again to the wonderment and connection to Life. To the reverence of this place and then worshipping the ground for it was, holy. It had to be, for no other space held that event. And this very moment begins community. Begins the call to the gathering to come, to share, to behold. That’s the beginning.*

More than saying yes, to joining a community comes leading into that community not simply with a willing mind, but with a very open heart. Community is not only giving food, or a house, or sharing a room. Nor is it just finding work, offering helping hands, it’s all that And more.

The more is finding those pieces in the context of being relational to each other.

Community leads with AND. After every thought comes and, after every action, intention, decision, comes AND. The and is how it flows into and out of each other.

Relationality, the ability to hold relationships, the desire to commit to their needs, is something we barely know how to give ourselves, let alone give to all else. Holding deep, honest, open, relationship with ourselves is something we have only began to offer our own hearts, or our close families. Stepping in to offer that to extended families or our smaller communities around us, is a huge task. It is not an undoable, impossible task, it is simply one that needs huge consideration. Taking that even further, deeper, means considering our relationship to the Earth, to our place, to all that inhabit it means that holding true connection and deep and meaningful value to those relationships travels far and wide. It requires time, energy and an unwavering commitment to listen, pause, and lead with a willingness to change.

That eagerness for flexibility, for offering an openness to all possibilities requires us to hold responsibility for our own self, extended to all else around us. Without responsibility towards these relations, who holds the reins steering us to wholeness? Relational means we have open ended responsibility for our actions, considerations, commitments and we need time to build and develop that capacity.

I will carry you, follow you, lead you, sit with you, hold you, honour you. I will see you. I will embrace all of you, I will listen and be patient and willing to stand with you. I will at times be shaken by you, but I will breathe and return to you. I will in days to come disagree with you, but I will move so we can align. I will sense you, feel you, hear you. I will know our heart beats walk as one. I will take time to touch, lean in, lean out, give and serve you …

I will witness you, surrender to you, abide within you and you me. THIS is to all things the land, the soil, the beetles and birds, the wind, the fire, the water, the padfoots clawfoots and slitherings to the people and the trees.

This work must lead the way …

And then beyond - leading us to accepting the cycles of Life, honouring them and living through them.

One of the biggest considerations in coming together in community is allowing the cycles of Life to build through the connections and continue on. This is a part of the overlooked relationality. Existing beyond one moment into all else and forever.

Death and endings are something to be held lightly and when it comes to fully offering self to service to Life, it must not merely be known it must be embraced.

The kind of death I am speaking of in true relational communities isn’t only the death of the physical form, although of course this will occur through the community through time. In relational terms endings of cycles through the death passage comes in every aspect of living. It exists as a moment of elements changing, wind to rain.. it exists as sunrise to sunset, it exists as beliefs evolving, as thoughts expanding.. all of this is a part of the relational death experience … which in short can be sensed as - not holding on - no grudges, no what if, no past lingered thoughts.. only now.. relational living is in the now fully.

And so to embrace relational living one must embrace the cycles of life and death as a passage of every now becoming. It’s important because in the relational aspect of community - relationality - to all things, as all things, considering all things, for all things … means being present to needs in the moment, responding with tenderness to the moment without colouration from the past offering its fullest capacity in each step.

The One Living System is relational, that not only wants the good of all, but seeks that as the base of all living, as a thriving harmonious system where the cycles of life are embraced, through birth, and death.

We all belong amongst this Living existence and at any time can step back in to return to our oneness. There is process to this for each of us to find our way.

Step one : return to knowing your sacred self

This is our part! We each are called to RETURN to our place amongst life and be one with her and all sentience again. In effect we are each called to knowing our SACRED SELF. This is the common ground we all are born from and as one with. All of us sacred beings that as we unravel from the masks and layers of life - we RETURN and discover our true selves for the first time.

In this knowing space we find wholeness, oneness, our interbeing place amongst all of Life, and as that …

Step two : restore

As a part of life - knowing our sacredness - we step into understanding what WELLth is for the first time, aligning it with life and truly seeking wellness, wellbeing as a wholeness. As we RETURN, we are living our WELLth... this wellth is not possible without the wellth of all around us being considered - in this we are each RESTORING all of life.

Restoring our relationships to life, people and place around is a part of the restore as we relate to all things in a manner that is restorative - allowing our truth to be offered to all that is around us to live as it’s truth, including life and the land in our return we understand that knowing ourself as sacred and upholding your own wellth allows all else to be steadied ... this relational piece calls each of us to build as one

Step three : regenerate

as one - we allow the natural process, the Natural Universal Laws of life to do her thing as the creator, the master of Regeneration and in our state of wellth, we allow all things from a relational frame to regenerate as one.

The truth about REGENERATION is - we don’t do it - LIFE does. Regeneration isn’t a man made concept - despite what many think - it is life’s natural way, it’s Natural Universal Law ... as Law of Creation.

So as we RETURN and know our truth, build our relational threads as one we build our wellth to RESTORE Life who in turn / that will in turn naturally do her thing and REGENERATE.

We get out of her way - let life lead - and maintain our part by knowing our sacredness, caretaking the life around us, allowing wellth for the good of all.. and life does the rest!

• I will leave space here for the post around how this belonging and wonderment was abused and become indoctrinated religions that have lead far too many astray with its power hungry propositions and its inbuilt lies.

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1. Photo by sifa diratama on Unsplash